Amanah Tuhan

Note : This post is based on my own emotional opinion

After Subuh prayer just now, I don't feel like going back to sleep which is rather unusual considering today is a Sunday. I kept on thinking about what I read in the paper last night before I go to sleep. I was feeling rather disturbed, and disgusted,I think.. to the point that I feel like crying. Please see here for the same news online at Star Online.

Of course, I do not want to discuss the racial issue. I'm just amazed at the fact that this old man (you should see the man's face in yesterday's paper) being so lucky to be given rezeki by Allah, 10 anak pulak tu..tapi tak cuba selamatkan 10 umat kita ni, you get what I mean? Such a waste.. how could you see them growing up and not leading them to the right path? Takkanlah all this while kena paksa dgn isteri untuk biarkan anak-anak practise agama lain? *sigh* Bukan ke setiap anak yg diberikan rezeki oleh Tuhan adalah amanah kepada kita untuk jaga dan bimbing dia?

Why am I being emotional on this? It is an obvious fact that I'm childless right? So, the same sentiment that I shared whenever I saw news about people dumping their babies. Tak kira la baby yg dibuang tu Melayu, Cina atau India...my heart crushed whenever I saw these abandoned babies. How could you? Takde perasaan ke? Orang macam ni tak pernah bersyukur dgn rezeki yg Tuhan bagi, buang sesuka hati. Paling aku tak tahan yg kuar dlm berita pasal jumpa baby kat tepi tempat pembuangan sampah, dipercayai dibaling dari tingkat atas flat. Boleh? Manusia ke apa tu yg sanggup baling je budak macam tu? Here I am feeling so low and anxiously waiting for the opprtunity to be a mother, but other people could easily get pregnant with one night stand action and decide that she don't want the baby after carrying the precious for 9 months?

Tak kira la apa pun masalah yg the mother might be facing, tapi kat Malaysia ni kan dah banyak channel for the problematic mother to solve the problem. Bagi la anak tu for adoption daripada buang je macam tu. Kalau la dia tahu betapa banyak pasangan yg tak dapat anak, yg nak sangat baby.. kalau la dia tahu macam mana perasaan orang macam aku ni yg bergenang air mata setiap kali aku tengok berita orang buang baby, or child being abused.. ya Allah. Memang la aku takde pengalaman jadi seorang ibu, tapi aku ada pengalaman jadi ibu saudara kan.. memang la budak2 nakal kadang2, dan boleh buat kita hilang sabar, tapi kita yg dewasa ni kan diberi pertimbangan akal? Kenapa nak hukum budak sampai cucuh rokok kat badan budak2 tu, pukul dgn seterika dan macam2 lagi? Sakit mental ka? Aku dulu pun nakal gak, berbirat kaki kena rotan dgn mama, pernah kena kurung kat luar dgn abang sbb bergaduh.. 5 minit jek, mama tak sampai hati eheheh. Tapi aku marah tak? Masa tu memang la rasa cam Mama tak sayang but as I grow older and wiser, aku tahu Mama buat tu sbb nak ajar aku dgn abang yg memang sungguh nakal. Mama marah pun sekejap je, pastu Mama peluk kitaorg :D

Aku terpikir gak pasal anak angkat ni.. tapi aku rasa belum ready. Bukan belum ready nak ada anak, tapi maksud aku belum ready dgn consequence lepas tu. Lepas aku dah jaga dgn penuh kasih sayang, pastu bila dia dah dewasa, what if he decide nak cari real parents dia and tinggalkan aku? Uwaaaa, I will be so crushed. Aku tak sanggup. So for the time being, as hubby pun kata dia tak ready nak adopt lagi, we will put this option as the very last resort.

Panjang ye aku bebel pagi2 Ahad ni..tapi tu la..aku tak tahan la tengok mende2 camni. Mama kata (of course la untuk pujuk hati aku) ada hikmahnya Tuhan bagi rezeki lambat kat aku supaya aku lebih menghargai rezeki yg bakal diberi nanti..insyallah. Hopefully kawan2 aku yg dah dapat anak pun menjaga amanah mereka dgn baik, consider yourself luckier than me ok? Bimbing dan jaga lah mereka dgn baik. Memang la kadang2 ibadat kita tak perfect, tapi kita cuba sebaik yg boleh... and sama2 mengingatkan, right?

Sampai hati ke nak abuse budak comel macam ni?