Monday, June 04, 2007
Aku takde mood nak cerita pasal weekend trip tu.. Trip tu ok, well ada ok dan tak ok nya. Mmg on the way balik, dah plan nak blog about it..gambar pun dah ambik banyak - bagi aku la.
Tapi bila balik - ada mende tak kena : mende2 yg aku tak suka dan buat aku hangin. Tapi aku cuba control, masak sambal sardine je sbb aku teringin sangat, dah minta tolong mama masak nasi so that bila aku sampai, terus masak je. Masa masak- air mata dah bergenang. Tapi tahan. Then ajak hubby makan, control lagi. Naik atas, masuk bilik - and I cry like nobody's business at his shoulders. Sampai basah baju dia. It took me 10 minutes to calm myself down lepas endless pujuk and hugs by hubby.
I don't think I can take this anymore - been trying to be the best daughter for the past 30 years and best wife for the past 4 years and surely, I can't please everyone and be the best. And I have myself to blame - not trying hard enough to look for job so that I can finally move out and stay in Klang with him. Not working hard enough at home to make sure everything is nicely arranged and taken care of (not with this amount of space and time-after-work I'm having now, definitely!). YA - I have myself to be blame - only ME. Aku yg tak pernah bersyukur dgn rezeki dan ujian Tuhan untuk aku.
And besok dah start kerja balik. I'm sure I'll be busy - dgn muka yg merah kena sunburned yg amat teruk - with mata yg bengkak after tonight. I'll update about the weekend trip after I'm done feeling useless about myself..
Betullah kata arwah Tok - jgn leka sangat bila dah happy. Still remember her words "Suka tu lawannya duka...bila dah suka sangat, mesti ada benda nak menangis". How true.
Right now, I'll go and crawl back to the snoring lover's arms.
p/s : No calls/emails/sms/comments related to this blog post will be entertained. I'll be ok in couple of days, biasalah aku....:)