Thursday, August 26, 2010

Being me

Sekejap je dah 15 hari kita puasa. Don't know about you guys/gals, Ramadhan kali ni aku rasa terlalu cepat, terasa macam tak dapat nak keep up. Preparation wise tu takdelah apa sgt, baju Raya dah ada, bukanlah baju glamour2 pun tapi baju yg baru ler, yg aku tak sabar tunggu Raya sbb lepas tu bleh pakai gi office haha. Boring dah tengok baju yg sedia ada. Hajat hati nak ngemas, nak letak tepi baju2 yg dah jemu tapi asyik procascinate je. Kuih raya? This year aku dah tak ambitious macam last year nak buat kuih sendiri bagai, oven pun macam dah semput so, forget it. Pejam mata bayar je la kuih2 yg ditempah. I ordered less than last year pun, ambik iktibar dari last year. Asal ada serba sket utk rumah, and for Mama and mak mentua, cukuplah.

Jadi, yg buat aku rasa tak ter keep up ialah my plans nak berbuka sana sini, berbuka dgn friends and family. Dlm 2 minggu ni, baru sekali je aku buka puasa kat rumah Mama, and campur sekali dgn all my family dtg buka puasa at my house. Tahap malas melampau bila rumah dah dekat dgn office ni, buat aku rasa malas nak menyimpang ke mana2. Nak pergi pasar ramadhan pun malas, sbb before nak gi pasar ramadhan akan lalu rumah aku dulu. There were times like today, kepala berangan nak beli something kat pasar coz Zul berbuka kat luar dgn vendor dia.. tapi lalu je petrol station sebelum rumah aku, aku just masuk dlm kedai tu, beli nasi lemak RM1 and terus corner masuk rumah. Rasa malas sbb panas, and malas nak bersesak dgn org ramai. Tah naper. Dlm cuba planning iftar with colleagues, with No3 classmates, with Unimate yg pelbagai group.. I realized 'eh, lagi 2 weekends je ada before Raya'.. mana lah nak sempat nak squeeze all in. Well, I can only try, ada rezeki, adalah. Takde rezeki, perhaps bergather lepas Raya je la.

Talking about gatherings, I admit I love it. So, maybe that's why 'walaupun tak disuruh', I end up organizing a meet up. I enjoyed the company, enjoyed the food (of course!) and enjoyed the talk. Lately je aku rasa cam malas dah..maybe setakat small groups yg close je. Nak ajak everybody tu aku rasa dah tak kuasa. Maybe the age eh, or maybe, just maybe I feel this unexplained (belasah je perkataan) awkwardness.

First, it was always me organizing. Katalah at times, org lain yg organize dan jemput aku and I attended (I rarely say no sbb aku suka kan gatherings..kiasu gitu). But org lain tengok gambar and saw me in the picture, org ingat aku yg organize. Ada chop kat dahi kut haha. Jadi akan ada la questions like 'Eh, Amy tak jemput aku'..wah pressure tauu. Tapi takde la pressure sampai meng affect kan diriku. Cuma rasa tak best jeklah.

Second, trying to accommodate everybody. Maksudnya, nak plan gathering time weekdays ke weekend? Bila buat weekdays, org tanya 'Aiyah susah la lepas keje, jln jammed' and bila buat weekends, org tanya 'Why weekend? Nak spend time dgn family la'. Or nak plan gathering di mana. Buat kat PJ/Subang, org KL susah nak dtg. Buat kat KL, org PJ/Subang susah nak dtg. Jadi haruslah mencari port di tengah2 supaya semua bleh dtg (hence, my house la kut haha perasan konon rumah kat tengah2).

Third, assumptions. Kalau Amy yg organize, meaning 'all girls session je, no kids, no hubby'. Takdelah, I don't put restrictions...ikut la keselesaan masing2. Cuma aku selesa organize/attend gatherings masa hubby takde. Reason being, he's working on shifts and aku jarang sgt dpt spend time dgn dia. Yelah cuti dia tak menentu, bila dia cuti weekdays, aku plak keje. Nak dpt dia cuti weekend, hanya sebulan sekali. So if dia cuti, as much as possible aku nak ada kat rumah la. Tapi banyak gak occasions yg aku 'tinggalkan' je dia so that I can accommodate dates with friends or family. Alhamdulillah dia jenis understanding, and faham wife dia ni suka attend gatherings. So, he also make plans with his friends on those days. Eh tapi minggu ni, macam 2 kali je dah saya kena tinggal buka puasa sorang2 sbb takde kawan yg bleh accommodate my last minute plan. Mana aci, B! :)

Fourth, still on assumptions... toksah la rasa bersalah if tak dpt attend gatherings yg aku organize. Takde maknanya..aku ok je. Nak dtg, I'll be happy..tak dpt datang, there will always be next time. Aku takkan jemu ajak punya, unless dot dot dot..haha biar ayat tergantung.

Don't get me wrong ha.. semua ni just to give a picture of what involved in organizing gatherings, part of la. Banyak lagi other things. Cuma it make me realized why certain reunion plans asyik tak jadi sbb there are so many things to consider. The date, the venue, the payment, the RSVP, the itinerary and other things. At times, it can get to you and you started to question friendship and family bond..and then you realized you can't please everybody. For example, your wedding. Macam mana kita try planning dari awal supaya takde cacat cela pun, mesti akan ada one (if you're lucky) hiccups, minor ones tapi ada yg org ingat, ada yg org lupa. Kadang2 kita rasa semua ok dah, perfect dah tapi kita tak tahu yg ada gak something wrong. Kalau tak buat proper plan, lagiklah haywire kan. Yg penting, bila org comment gathering kita, take that as a note to improve ourselves. Hey, maybe I can do a post on weddings kan? At least bleh share good/bad experience for others yg belum kahwin. Next post la ye yg entah bila.

Jadi, sempena my last time menjadik organizer ni, see you friends on 31/8 and 5/9 :). Cepat RSVP ok.

9 comments:

Arena said...

Salam babe,

I am not into gatherings. aku suka lagi kalau dapat jumpa 2-3 orang or the most 5 friends at 1 go. Sebab nanti tak puas sembang. Take masa open house for example, ko lah masak, ko lah nak replenish makan, ko lah nak layan tetamu sumer kan, bilanya nak ada sembang2 berkualiti dengan kawan2. Tu yang aku experience bila kawan dtg masa open house. Tapi nak dpt kumpul sumer kawan memang susah..

Linda said...

Amy, ni theory aku on why ko selalu kena target jadi organizer, sebab there's one quality that you have (which most people takde), is when people think abt you,the thought itself bring some warmth into people's hearts, especially when they remember abt the fun they had during the get-together that involves you. So see it as compliment bebeh..

some more it is noted lah, bukan senang nak buat acara panggei² orang ni..kalo aku, aku suka idea potluck atau gi makan² kat restoran, rather than tuan rumah kena masak utk org makan.
see you on 31st bebeh!

Amy said...

Che Na - I know..tapi jarang dpt opportunity camni dpt kumpul semua reramai. That's why kalau buat kat rumah aku, aku prefer pot luck and most of time pot luck kitaorg adalah mende2 yg dibeli, jadi tak penat dan bleh sembang puas2. Cuma kalau nak buat bigger gatherings, reunion contohnya sesama Uni satu course agak susah la sbb nak accommodate ramai punya expectation and agenda. Bila kita nak jumpa ni? Ayen, si Mama Tini tu dah few times ckp nak ajak ko dtg rumah aku :))

Linda - Tq for your kind words. Really. In my case, mmg tak confident masak utk reramai. Pastu if penat takde energy nak sembang. So pot luck is the best kan? I can't wait beb..

Silent Scribbler said...

Kak Amy, I hear you! I pun malas nak jumpa kengkawan masa reunion sbb tak pasal2 jadi organizer. I'm also much more comfortable with very small gatherings because like Arena said, tak puas sembang. Have a good berbuka kak Amy! :-)

Amy said...

Sha - Maybe lepas ni I buat diam je la. Mesti lama2 ada yg akan take over kut...hehe

Fina said...

sorry amy, tak dapat datang hari tu hahaha..jgn jemu jemput aku....confirm makan sedap kat umah kau..aku pun baru buat posting pasal marriage...dipersilakan baca...wedding posting is good....

Amy said...

Fina - owh takpe..ko pun jgn jemu ajak aku berendam kat sungai tu. I've told Zul and managed to get him excited about it (dia berangan bleh memancing kat sungai haha). Hopefully the next time you ask, the time is right and both of us bleh pegi.

Fina said...

wokeh...planning nye pas raya nak ke sungai sendat lagi sekali, kok anak2 ikan kecik tu ada la hahaha..nak mancing hardcore susah sikit, tapi takat nak berendam sambil makan mawinya lamb bbq pastu golek2 atas pasir boleh lagi...hehehe..

Amy said...

Ok Fina, let me know a few days earlier so that I can check Zul punya shift hours. Aku cop buat sandwich eh, yg paling senang ekekek.